One of my elderly neighbors passed away the other day. Some obit writier for The News wrote a cheesy little obituary about him. I wish they would write real things about people:

Whitey was a smoker, and liked walking out on his porch to spark one up. He was geting on in years and could not patrol the neighborhood as he did in his younger days, but still made it a point to get his nose in everyone’s affairs. He was an avid Bills fan, and could be seen watching the game every Sunday, only stepping out for a brief cigarette between quarters.

Something like that would be more realistic. But alas, they don’t write creative obits in this country.